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Deviant for 12 Years
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Literature
koishigaru.
my eyesight is deteriorating
like stepped on leaves,
wet and crunched up
after heavy rain, and
the little girl who picked it up
and stored it in a jar,
on the television, and just a little far away,
can't be seen anymore,
because everything is a blur
and my eyes ache
because it misses the way they helped her see the world.
even though just the thought
of you calling my name,
and waiting for me to reply
just murders any appetite i had left,
i'm the one who's waiting now,
and i feel like i'll never stop and you'll never come and i
eat too much junk food
and my stomach aches
because the door is closed, and the right time is not yet,
and it misses the way the light breeze,
  along with slight shallow breaths, and soft wavering touches
would send shivers down her spine.
open windows, and black curtains that don't fly
anymore and i refresh, and click, and call
and wait to hear
but i'm not refreshed,
and nothing's clicking right,
and i rarely ever called out your name,
except
in dre
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Literature
beautiful.
love
is when he calls you beautiful
in a way that you
have no choice but to believe it.
and my cat purrs softly as i stroke her
warm, calico fur; while i smile because
i remember what love and softness feels like.
like sitting on a damp bench,
in a deserted playground, with a
jacket over our heads.
to keep us dry from the rain,
which turns your hands red,
and makes my heart
smile, the way you did
when the sun would sometimes
be a bright, hope
and light up a future,
with forgetting the darker colours
which
soft tulips don't like,
and don't lie, just laugh,
   and maybe that was just a dream
and even though i keep falling,
tripping,
and bruising my knees,
and closing off my heart
in pure, red, anger,
like the rain and you, but.
i love you,
sometimes, but
especially
when i am walking alone
in a long corridor, and calling
and i'm faced with echoes, but
the voice is only, always mine, and
then, always; now,
    waking up from this, i might become an insomn
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Literature
between the lines.
sometimes, he reads her so well, she is shocked.
and feels like an open book, with no page numbers, yet, someone knows.
someone knows what order she has to be read in.
and it's almost like you can read my mind.
sometimes, her pages fly open, and she willingly
leaves herself that way; read me, read each and every word.
and then he scrunches up his nose,
and pushes the book away - slightly - but away,
while smiling, kindly, but, judging
and, she turns her pages over, with the sound of a tear.
and it's almost like i have to start using a different font;
  or scratch out some words; or maybe, invisible ink.
sometimes, she writes new words in, and she shows him, and he reads,
and he answers, but he talks of
a different world, of different pages, and maybe even,
in a different language.
and it's almost like you had been reading the page upside-down.
and sometimes, she just doesn't know
how long she wants to stay on this same old,
bookshelf; hidden.
and maybe then, when, fina
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Literature
overdose.
warning:
overdose can be fatal.
the first thought in my mind
   when i wake up is
you;
the second
  is how i
       think about
you
  too too much.
read pages of a novel
    (p.s. i love you)
with a mention of one touch, one
   word of, and
she stops
   reading, and a blank stare at
  blurred pages, while
you
   visit in velvet, clouded
     daydreams.
and what i want to do is,
    write love letters for you everyday.
  seal them with faded, burning
       memories
of new
   love, and soft
kisses.
i want to mail them to you
    on the wings
  of all the dreams i had
with your face,
your voice, your
  memory in them, and
    wrap them up with
beautiful piano music,
and lyrics of my
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Literature
he said 'bittersweet'
he said "bittersweet"
  and she went blank, because
she didn't know it, at that time.
when she was still savouring
the sugar-sugar-coating,
and not yet the bitterness inside.
this so-called hard candy
is only bitter on the outside though, isn't it?
inside,
it's all sweet, and laughter, and kisses, and smiles, and
happy,
and love - oh wait, oxymoron; perhaps,
is it maybe the other way around?
don't ask me what this means
because i won't answer.
  because i don't know.
it means
love, dear.
everything from me to you
that's what it all means.
just,
love.
or else i never would have
stayed so long in the first place.
open your eyes.
;and tears fall down
from her heart,
because,
she can't give herself up
to the force, completely, because
she does not want to experience a crash, but -
  open your eyes,
you're all his;
and you are never
going to be getting that
heart back.
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Literature
lost-and,
lost-and;
waiting to be -
dear self,
where did you go?
please remind me who
and why
again.
no,
i'm feeling like i'm just live-ing
for someone
  else;
right now,
for you.
  yes, love. but, no.
don't do that.
just,
take some time,
find again,
self.
myself,
remember.
but,
maybe it's not me that i'm looking for.
maybe the one i'm looking for
is you.
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Literature
corruption at it's finest.
12am.
round and round we go.
the clock keeps ticking forward.
     forward and back, forward and back.
midnight: an end and a beginning.
( corruption at its finest )
and we live another day.
11pm.
the sun has long set.
finish eating tv-dinner
    glow of commercials reflected on blank face.
read headlines, newsprint - leftover from breakfast.
    all seen, all read.
the sun has long set.
    ( and some have stopped believing
         that it would ever rise again )
5pm.
rush hour.
speeding cars, waiting in traffic
    minutes going by seem like hours.
discussions held over cellphone.
turn on radio.
    laugh along with everyone else
    laughing stock - a man who knows nothing
                    
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fire and ice. by xxx-fancy-xxx fire and ice. :iconxxx-fancy-xxx:xxx-fancy-xxx 2 4
Literature
you this much.
i love {
the way you say my name
   with the sound of Everything is okay
   so much so that i really believe you
( and keep hiding a little longer, just to
hear you say my name again )
when you paint pictures
  of you,me and happiness
when you hold my hand
  just to keep it warm
when you make me forget
   how to breathe, a little
when you tell me i'm beautiful
   and, somehowcrazilyactually, mean it
and; the way you mean what you say
   with the sound of I love you
   so much so that i really believe you
( and you make me feel so
[good]happy
  i could cry
and never let you go;
} you this much
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Literature
with no heart at all.
Welcome, young one, welcome.
It feels great to have a place to call home, doesn't it?
To have someone you can call your own.
Someone who you can belong to.
Yes, I know exactly what that feels like.
Love, I believe it’s called.
It is beautiful.
Just like her. Her, who I have known since she was but a tiny, young girl.
Her, who had promised me that she would love me forever.
Just as she now promises you.
Oh, look at you. It is almost as though you are glowing, in all your plastic perfection.
Your big, beady, blue eyes are almost mesmerizing.
Oh, no need to blush, dear.
Although the sweet tint of pink is naturally always there, painted so perfectly on your cheeks.
But no need to be embarassed;
You should be proud of your beauty.
Perhaps if I were as pretty as you, sweet child, I would never have been cast aside like this.
Oh, silly me, confusing you with my sudden negative remarks.
I do apologize, dear.
Oh, but who am I kidding? Beauty would have gotten me nowhere.
I had my own kind
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Literature
thing called love.
your laughter makes the bells in my heart chime
   an organ that pumps blood, can't make music
i think about you, just you, all the time
   obsession, bad habit, unhealthy, sick
if you left me, i'd kill myself. i'd die.
   save stupidness, suicide proves nothing.
forever and ever, i'll hold you tight
   forever could get quite suffocating
my entire life, you have rearranged.
   proves how much, to changed feelings, you are prone.
i'll love you no matter how much you change.
  it's human nature, to fear the unknown.
    mask of sweetened lies, cover face misgiving
     yet, believing these lies, makes life worth living
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Literature
my love for you.
were i, scribbled on a page, lyrics sweet
you'd be melody that'd make us a song
were i the tip of an evergreen tree
you would be the base that lets us stand strong
were i the small beads on a silver chain
you'd be the locket that would make us whole
were i a cloudless grey sky, drenched with rain
you'd be rays of sun, that make us a rainbow
but we're each neither the sun nor the rain
our love's not a song, nor a tree in snow
you are no locket, and i am no chain
but my love's far more real, because although
            i've writ' a sonnet of sweet words untrue,
            made of stronger bonds, is my love for you
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Literature
'this' and,or 'that'
{ choose the right path, young
      grasshopper,child,dreamer,believer,
      lonegirlwalkingthroughaforest,
and you shall be a winner }
all one ever wants
  is that ultimate prize
that far-off dream-like
   ohsowanted [  happiness       ]
guides, books, do this, not that
[drilled]intotinyheads - thisgood;thatbad.
begood:find [   happiness]
(he says)
early bird gets the worm
                                                  but;
(she says)
good things come to those who wait
(you says)
nothing ventured, nothing gained
             
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Literature
darkchocolate,coffee,anddreams
( she lives in an hourglass )
she paints smiles
with her fingertips    -smooth
                                           lylightly
easy to smear smudge, so she can
smear smudge
/ erase the painted-on
happiness
beforeso anyoneelsenoone   can
( blinkonetwo; gone.
     is her definition of happiness.
)
afraid of falls, so:
  she flies only in dreams,
always knowing that
   she can wake up, whenever she chooses.
never pretending a reality.
she fell once,
and
  stop;
pretending.
( afraid, she is,
of letting herself be happy )
but
  thisterriblewonderful { your warmth,
kisses, scents: love
  feeling
can break walls down
   - has already broken much
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wishing for wings. by xxx-fancy-xxx wishing for wings. :iconxxx-fancy-xxx:xxx-fancy-xxx 1 4 headache. by xxx-fancy-xxx headache. :iconxxx-fancy-xxx:xxx-fancy-xxx 2 5

Random Favourites

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Activity


Most people go "Oyy. I've been tagged again! >.<" while the Fanci-ness goes and hunts these down! =D

And she steals them from random people's journals. >.> Uh-oh. Hope you ppls don't mind, mon.

took this from :icontinman-20-tinster:

last FRIEND you [no family? alright.]:
1. Saw: Kinza
2. Talked to on the phone: Ahaha. [I repeat "phone = :fear:"] *thinks back to last time I talked to a "FRIEND" on the phone. Mmm... Janhavi.
3. IMed: Serena [patronus4000.deviantart.com]
4. Messaged over myspace: Me don't gots myspace.
5. Ate with: Erm. This lunch?
6. Slept in the same bed with: -.-" Prolly not since I reached 6, so I don't remember.

Today:
1. Wearing: White pants with light blue cotton top
2. Better than yesterday: Half-half.
3. What were you doing two hours ago: Sleeping.
4. Got any plans: Spend time with those cute little similar-triangles. [Math homework. >__>]
5. Dislikes about tomorrow: How am I to know what tomorrow shall bring? Oh wait. It's a day 2. Eugh. *shudders* Fanci hates day 2s.

Favorite:
1. Number(s): 2, 24, 40-somethings?
2. Song: Changes every few weeks
3. Movie: Lots

Currently:
1. Are you missing someone right now: I donno. *thinks* Shrug, I can't tell.
2. Mood: Drowsy
3. Wanting: To eat chyou

Q&A:
Q: First thing you did this morning:
A: looked at my watch

Q: Last thing you ate:
A: glazed donut

Q: What's bothering you right now?:
A: the usual

Q: Do you believe in long distance relationships?:
A: sure. why not?

Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now:
A: no duh. im usually always thinking about one person or another. >_> i could be thinking about myself too. a person, I am.

Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: School

Q: Who do u look like: mom or dad?
A: I donno. Other relatives, they say.

Q: Do you have any siblings?:
A: Yes.

Q: Do you smile often?:
A: So I've been told.

Q: Do you think that a person is thinking of you?
A: I hope so. ... Well, not .bad. thoughts. >_>

Q: Do you wish upon stars?
A: Sometimes.

Q: Are you a friendly person?:
A: You tell me.

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A: Light blue

Q: What were you doing at 12 last night?:
A: Looking for a lost sheet of my math assignment. >__> Sad.

Q: When was the last time you saw your birth father?
A: Last night when he told me to sleep by 11.

Q: When was the last time you cried?
A: Don't remember. Really really cried? Shrug.

Q: Do you get angry easily?
A: Depends on which people I'm interacting with.

Q: Take any vitamins?
A: Not currently.

Q: What are you about to do?
A: Have some fun with those awesome similar-triangle models.

Q: Did you ever check your phone waiting for someone to call?
A: I don't expect many calls. I repeat, phone = :fear:.

Q: Rate life as of right now. 1-10
A: 8.9

Am I to tag people? *looks around*
Well, I tag the usual. You should know who you are.
Hmm. Not in the llama mood. What mood am I in? *chooses mood* Well, my head just started hurting. And those triangles are waiting...
  • Listening to: Imaginary sounds.
  • Reading: His mind. I wish.
  • Watching: My sister tear up a sheet of paper.
  • Playing: Hearts. Always.
  • Eating: I Have Chocolate.
  • Drinking: Tea.

deviantID

xxx-fancy-xxx
fanci c.
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Canada
Fanci Charmen can often be found unaware of the happenings around her because she is too occupied with fantasies of various fictional characters. Charmen likes cool summer breezes, a cup of warm tea in the morning, catching snowflakes, searching for shooting stars, pretending she can fly, and eating watermelon. She dislikes frostbite, coffee, forgetting what she was about to say, being confused, and broccoli. She often wonders what it would be like to live on an another planet, has a strange fondness for Pluto, and is planning to become a superhero when she grows up.

Current Residence: somewhere between everywhere and nowhere.
Favourite genre of music: country, jpop, whatever sounds good
Operating System: vista
MP3 player of choice: sansa clip
Wallpaper of choice: seasonal
Favourite cartoon character: syaoran, cloud, roxas/sora, tohru, nagisa, and a bunch of other anime people
Personal Quote: and i won't let myself believe, so i won't cry as much when you tell me you lied. -fc
Interests

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconjade-pandora:
Jade-Pandora Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2010
Apologies for taking so long to come and thank you for the fave!

"Tea House Haiku Journal" [link]

I'm so glad it pleases you. :thanks:
Reply
:iconpatronus4000:
patronus4000 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2009
I was going through my inbox (yet another attempt at cleaning it out), and, well, yeah:

:glomp: THANK YOUUUU~ for the favs on the following xD :

- Freshly Squeezed
- Scared
- Even Recyclables Recycle
- Paradise
- Majestic
- Apple Blossoms
- Happy Toast Plush Keychain
- Lit. Week Bookmark 2008
- Stop Internet Explorer
- Pachirisu
- Character Study - Bear
- The Typical School Lunch Hour
- Take Me Away
- Pink Rose
- The Rain
- Fallen Angels

(I just realized they were all fav'd on Dec 30, 2008...in a three-minute interval. xP You're awesome. <3)

[ hey, that just cut my inbox down to 94 messages. ^^ yay~ i'm making progress. >< ]
Reply
:iconfairy-cakes:
fairy-cakes Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2009  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks so much for the :+fav:!! :hug: :D It's much appreciated!

Have some cake. :cake:
Reply
:icondarknessangelx:
DarknessangelX Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2009  Student Photographer
Thank you so much for the fav :heart: :smooch:
Reply
:iconyouinventedme:
YouInventedMe Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009   Writer
thanks for the :+fav: on flowersandrobots


xo!
Reply
:iconstarcatcher42:
starcatcher42 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009
very welcome :3
Reply
:iconnhuval-stock:
NHuval-stock Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009
:iconthankuplz::iconlittle-vampire:
Reply
:iconstarcatcher42:
starcatcher42 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009
awh, you're welcome ^-^
Reply
:iconwheels-of-joy:
Wheels-Of-Joy Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2009  Professional Photographer
Thank you for :+fav:ing :hug: :heart:
Reply
:iconstarcatcher42:
starcatcher42 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2009
<3 ^-^
Reply
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